Happy Valentine's Day!

This is the first year in 10 years that I haven't spent with my girlfriend. We're long distance so I usually go up to NYC for Valentine's Day. Sadly, with all the time I took off during my mom's illness and subsequent death, I haven't been able to take as much now since I'm lacking in both vacation days and money! But, my niece and I had dinner with my father and hopefully made his first Valentine's alone a little better. 

We spent the weekend boxing up my mom's clothes to donate and I ended up taking a few...ok more than a few...things that looked like they'd fit me. One thing was the shirt above! I think this is the first time I've worn bright colors in decades. I wear so much black my niece teases me. So, maybe this is me turning over a new leaf! 

I've been struggling with panic attacks again, which is super annoying. I've gone through phases of this for years since my 20s and I think my mom's death sort of brought some of this back. I've also been struggling with sinus/ear problems that are affecting my balance and tha doesn't help with the panic attack mess. The funny thing is that no one except my girlfriend really knows about them. I can usually work through them on my own and no one is the wiser, but it would be nice to not have this happen at all. It's a battle to get out of your own head, I think. 

Anyways, if you celebrate Valentine's Day, have a good one. If you don't celebrate it or are partner-less, have a good night!